CYBERLITHIC STUDIOS is a bunch of dudes!!
(and one poor overworked woman who is writing this under duress)

A bunch of mostly dudes with swords, guns, computers and enough ideas (and ammo) to take down ... “the MAN!” He’s going down. And he’s going down hard. Cyberlithic style. Which means, hard, dirty, and in your face. Balls to the wall baby.

We are a bunch of rebels that have fled the normalcy of the East Coast into the rugged and crazed ranges of the Cascades. This is our home, where we wait and plan, to take over the world!! Through decades of planning and super scientific research found on the Onion, we will slowly produce movies to take over the minds of first Americans, then Canadians, and finally..... Greenland!

Our wrath is coming, and it’s going to be in your face. Get your metal horns and Zippos lighter. Not your cell phones you pussy, that’s for teeny boppers and emo shits. We are doing this shit old school. There will be zombies, bitching Camaros, Cthulu, chicks with dicks, kittens, warlords, iguanas, cheese in a can, baguettes, fried chicken and flame throwers!!!

All of this coming, THIS SUMMER! to a theatre near you.